


Forever Young

by pantswarrior



Category: Suikoden I
Genre: Gen, Immortality, Magic, Old Age
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-07
Updated: 2011-01-07
Packaged: 2017-10-14 13:18:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/149605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pantswarrior/pseuds/pantswarrior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For decades now, Gremio and McDohl have been traveling together - and though the Soul Eater keeps his Young Master eternally youthful, Gremio is growing old.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Forever Young

It's ironic, truly it is. During the time when Master McDohl commanded the Liberation Army, so many people tried to tell me that he had grown up, that he no longer needed me, that he wasn't a child anymore - and I must say, it was so very hard to accept. And here we are, decades after the end of the Gate Rune War; my skin has gone dry and tight, my bones brittle, and though the blond caused it to be not so noticeable for the longest time, my hair is unmistakably grey now. But Young Master McDohl? He remains "Young Master" still, even if he has lived upwards of fifty years.

It's all due to that rune on his hand, so he tells me. I missed so much during that... that time when I was away, you could say. I don't care to dwell on that much. When I returned, Master McDohl explained to me the many things that I had missed, including his discovery about his old friend Ted - who turned out to be a much older friend than any of us had ever suspected!

Since that time, we've met many keepers of True Runes in our travels, and I've noticed a few things. Lord Joshua received the Dragon Rune in his middle years, and he continued to look as though he were somewhere in that vicinity, but he could have passed for anywhere from thirty-odd to sixty. It was much the same with Lady Leknaat, whose age I'd have guessed at somewhere between twenty to forty years. Ted received the Soul Eater as a child, and we met him in what appeared to be the middle of adolescence, when he looked not quite like either a man or a child. I can only assume the True Runes remain inconspicuous in this way, keeping the person they're fixed to in an almost ageless state, that even should someone know their host for some time, it won't be so noticeable that they age no further.

Now Master McDohl, he received the Soul Eater from Ted when he was already at that stage where he was not quite man and not quite child. He grew so very much during those months we were apart - when Lady Leknaat returned me to him, one look in his eyes told me that he was certainly no child in spirit anymore - but physically he has looked the same for forty-some years now, balanced halfway between youth and maturity. It's hard for me to think of him as a grown man, for he still has that round face, that unruly hair, that energy - and at an age when most men would be retiring to live the quiet life at home!

Not Master McDohl, though, oh no. We did return to Gregminster for a time, and spent a few happy months with Pahn and Cleo and our other old friends, but it wasn't long before that cursed rune began tugging at him again, and he needed to go back to a solitary life. And so we left again, trying to find a place where he could be at peace. We've found many such places in the years we've traveled, but they've never remained peaceful for long, between his fame and the Soul Eater's tendencies to stir up trouble.

He'd have gone alone, I believe, the first time. He repeatedly refused my offers to come with him, for what must have been hours, and even tried to sneak out a window while I wasn't looking! I suppose Master McDohl was still a child in some ways at that point, for he'd done the same thing - and with the same results - when he was but ten years old. I gave him a good scolding then, for he was much too young to go gawking at the traveling performers staying at the inn. This second time was much the same - even if he had been a great general and brought about a revolution, it simply was not safe for him to just go wandering off wherever he pleased all by himself. I did swear to Master Teo that I'd take care of him, you see. Even if Master Teo is no more, to me a promise is as immortal as the holder of a True Rune, if not more so.

That second time he sought to sneak out the window, that was when he explained to me about the Soul Eater's curse. It seems the rune hungers for more souls, and he is too good a person to willingly feed such a miscreation. So, desperate as that rune is for its dinner, it begins to subvert him... after a time, it becomes hard to resist. He warned me, and even threatened me, but I knew perfectly well that he could never do harm to me, rune or no rune.

We discovered something interesting on that first journey, in fact: the rune doesn't seem to be the slightest bit interested in devouring my soul. Perhaps because it's already had a taste of me, and did not find me to its liking? Ah, but I've come to believe that deep inside, it still carries a part of me, for that night I found that more than ever, I couldn't bear the thought of letting Master McDohl go off on his own without me - it would have been like losing a part of myself. The second time we left Gregminster in the dead of the night, it took much less arguing to get him to accept my company. After all, if I'm the one person alive who will not be endangered by the Soul Eater, that does make me the ideal companion for him, does it not? And he was simply not meant to live life alone, he's always cared so much for people... that was what made him such a remarkable leader during the war.

It was painful to leave, both times, for I do love Gregminster. So much of my life was spent there, and my happiest days were when Master Teo still lived within those walls, governing his household firmly and fairly. When we joined with the Liberation Army, I feared we might never return to our old home - and then my Young Master became a greater hero than even his father had been, and was even offered the throne! I'd have liked to see him receive the glory and honor he deserved, of course; I wish it were possible for my him to live the life of luxury he won through so much strife. And yes, I'll admit that in my old age I'd not object to living comfortably in a palace, rather than wandering here and there to avoid any unpleasantness the rune might inspire. But he has chosen otherwise, and who am I to deny him that choice? I suppose I _could_ go back, if I wanted to, and live out my remaining days comfortably surrounded by friends. He would not begrudge me for it, but I know he needs me, even now.

And this is why I've made no mention to him of the aches in my bones, or the shortness of breath when we travel just a little too far, a little too fast. There's nothing wrong with me that's unusual for a man of my age, after all, and I wouldn't want to worry him with thoughts of a day that may yet be some time off.

...Though to be honest, I sense now that I may not have much longer left. There's this feeling lately, a sinking feeling that there's so much left to do that I haven't done. I felt the same in Soniere, even if it was with much greater urgency upon looking down to see Milich's spores at my feet, and this time I recognize it for what it is. My eyes are growing dim, and I can't hear quite so well as I once did. It takes more and more effort to rouse myself out of bed in the morning. My senses of smell and taste are still sharp as ever, though - I can cook for Master McDohl as well as I ever did, and I still do, even if I rarely have the appetite to eat much myself. I sometimes imagine I can feel myself wasting away...

Ah, but that is how life is, isn't it? A man is born, and he does many things, and he grows older until he eventually dies. I've no real reason to feel much regret over it, for in my life I've seen and done so many things that most people never would have a chance to experience. I consider myself quite blessed - I've even returned from the dead, and that's a reason to feel blessed, no doubt! But though Lady Leknaat restored my body to its former state once, it was a return to the same mortal flesh that was destroyed, and I quite expect that it should not happen again the next time my flesh fails - from natural causes, rather than something nature certainly never intended.

These are morbid thoughts, I suppose, but when sleep eludes me, my thoughts often turn to such things as these. At least, recently they have. It's so very hard to see in the blackness of night, and it's no wonder that a man's thoughts should be of the enemies that no one can touch or see or fight. It does not bother me much anyhow, once the sun has risen and its light streams through the windows of the old abandoned hunting lodge that Master McDohl and I have been staying in for the past month or so, lighting the faded, cracked wood and the dust that hangs in the air like so many fireflies. When there is light, there are things to be done, and there is no sense in dwelling on what can't be helped.

But it's early yet, and only the first hints of daylight's approach offer any light to the single room of the lodge; it's not even so much light, really, as the way I can see Master McDohl silhouetted against the medium blue sky through the window. These days he spends a great deal of time gazing into the heavens, but he will not tell me what he sees, and I've learned to stop asking.

I haven't slept much, but he and I are both awake, and so I muster up enough discipline to push away the blankets and roll to a sitting position on my bed with a yawn. "Shall I make breakfast, Young Master?"

He doesn't answer, whether by word or gesture, unless he's spoken too softly for me to hear, and so I repeat myself. "Young Master?" Still I hear nothing from him, and that just is not right. "Is something wrong? ...The rune again, perhaps?"

This time he answers, but he hesitates. "You could say that. Gremio... what do you think about the Soul Eater?"

It's quite frustrating, that rune - anything else that caused him so much pain I would happily fight against on his behalf, but all I could do to rid him of this bothersome being is to lop off his hand. This is not what I would call an acceptable solution. "I'd prefer it not trouble you any longer, Young Master - even if it meant taking that curse upon myself."

He turns his head, and though I can't see his face, I can feel his eyes on me for a moment before he sighs softly. "I believe you."

I smile, and join him at the bench by the window. "That's good, because I meant it."

There doesn't seem to be anything else to say on the matter for the moment, and we sit there in silence as the day breaks. The sky is pale indigo now, beyond the trees surrounding the lodge. "It looks like it will be a beautiful day for fishing, Young Master." When he is so lost in introspection as he is now, it's as if he's gone to some other world, but often talking of ordinary things will pull him back to a place where he and I can speak.

It seems to work just a bit, for he nods. "Gremio..."

"Yes?"

"Let me see your hand."

An odd request, but I oblige, of course - he may be troubled enough today to need the reassurance of a hand in his own, though he's never asked for such a thing before. And what a shock it is even now to see my hands, frail and trembling with age, clasped between his, as young and supple as they have always been. I wonder, does he see the same? For he pauses for a short time, looking down at my hand in his, before his thumb begins to stroke over my gaunt knuckles gently, as if he's worried. He turns our hands over after a moment, and this is when I notice that for once he's not wearing his glove, for the Soul Eater is etched clearly upon his skin, standing out darker still than the dim light of the room, as if it draws what light there is to itself and swallows it whole. "...Young Master?"

Again I get no answer from him, except for the closing of his eyes and a deep inhalation. He seems to be steeling himself for something, though I don't know what, and suddenly I'm frightened - especially when I notice that the rune upon his hand seems to be pulsing, just a little.

He holds my hand firmly, though, and I don't know if I could break away from his grip if I tried. Either way, I do not - I trust Master McDohl with my life, which may be exactly what is at stake at the moment.

A flash of light from the rune, unearthly and eerie, and before I can say or do anything, I'm engulfed. This is not how the Soul Eater works when it feeds - I've seen Master McDohl use it before, too many times for my liking - but somehow it seems familiar...

At first I can't be sure what has happened, for I feel no different than usual when the light fades away. My hand remains in his, and as I glance around in confusion, something catches my eye - the skin on the back of his right hand is flawless, unblemished by any marking. Beneath his thumb, however, something dark lies upon my own skin, and my old heart skips a beat or two as I pull my hand free of his grasp to behold exactly what I suspected and feared it might be: the Soul Eater, branded into my own flesh.

"Y-young M-m-master!" I find my voice for the first time in many years stuttering in stunned disbelief, as it had a tendency to do when I was younger. So long we've spent together, I thought I knew him so well that he could no longer surprise me - but this does indeed come as quite a surprise!

His face, when I'm able to drag my eyes away from the new black mark upon my hand, is serious. "If it ever becomes too much of a burden for you, or you feel that you might lose control, you can return it to me. But your soul and mine are much the same, and I think you can resist the Soul Eater as I did... and for now, I want you to have it."

"B-but..." My tongue is still uncooperative, it would seem, and it takes me a moment to arrive on the single word I find necessary. "...Why?"

"You're old, Gremio." And here I'd been thinking he might not have noticed - such a disservice to his intelligence, really, and I should be ashamed of myself. "My body hasn't aged for many years," he continues, "but yours has been wearing out little by little. If things remained as they are, you would die, and I would go on living alone. You've been good to me, and I... don't like the thought of living without you."

His boyish appearance makes him look all that much more earnest, and it's difficult to say the words I must. "But if you give me this rune, then _you_ will grow older and someday die! I can't say that I care for that idea either..."

He nods, and gives me a slight smile. "I expected you to say that. But keep it for a time anyhow. I'll grow old, as old as you are now - and if you want to return the Soul Eater to me then, I'll accept it. But I can't let you die again so soon... not when I can at least extend your life for a few more decades."

The rune feels... unnaturally natural on my hand. Knowing how much Master McDohl has suffered from its will, I'd have expected it to feel ominous somehow, or heavy, or perhaps it would bring some kind of pain. But no - it feels no different at the moment than any of the lesser runes Jeane attached to me during the war. Upon closer examination, though, mixed in with the tingling of magic, I sense something like a whisper not quite heard. At first I wonder if I'm only imagining things, but from what Master McDohl has said, I don't believe that to be the case. "This will take some time to adjust to," I tell him, and I can hear the trembling in my voice.

"Yes, it does, but we have a lot of time," he reminds me. "All the time in the world, really..." There's a look on his face I've seen often in the past several years, but which he would never explain. This time, though, he does. "...Whoever keeps one of the True Runes will exist as long as time itself."

I falter, understanding for the first time the scope of such a thing as immortality, for now that power rests upon me. "It's... frightening."

"Yes, very frightening. The idea of eternity scares me half to death. I don't know if I can imagine living many lifetimes without going insane... What do you do with so much time?"

He falls silent again, lost in thought as I am lost for words. The enormity of this burden he's carried, and the worries he's lost so much sleep over, they're too much to speak easily of, and suddenly I understand why he never answers when I ask why he looks so anxious.

"But the thought of _some_ extra time isn't so bad," he finishes finally, and he turns to me, smiling again. "I'd like to go on traveling with you for a few years yet."

Slowly, I nod. "I should like that very much myself, Young Master. Perhaps when you grow weary, and I grow weary, we can find someone else to take possession of this rune and rest - the both of us at a ripe old age. Or perhaps I should say overripe?"

His smile grows wider at the small joke, and the expression makes him look for the first time in many years like the youth he was before he received the rune - and not just because his face still looks the same. "Maybe... So, Gremio, what should we do first with our extra time?"

After a moment's consideration, I give the first answer that comes to my mind. "Breakfast would be a start. I believe we have some eggs left, and cheese - would you like an omelette, Young Master?"

I was offering a perfectly serious suggestion, but he laughs out loud. I can't even recall the last time I heard him laugh like that - it's been quite some time - but I do easily remember the last time he threw his arms around me like this: the first moment after Lady Leknaat returned me to him that we were not in the presence of half the Liberation Army. It simply would not have been proper for their leader to be seen doing something so immature and sentimental as throwing himself at an old friend, would it?

But there is no shame in it now, only relief and gratitude, and when he pulls away, even his posture has changed; it's as if he's literally been freed from beneath a heavy burden. "That sounds like a perfect way to begin a new lifetime - I'll gather firewood."


End file.
